Wednesday, January 3, 2018

When the carousel ends

Something is missing:

"In my years of semi-voluntary celibacy, I have several friends who have been in multiple relationships, some of them quite passionate and committed, but with barely a pause in between each one. 

The immediate sense of loss after a relationship is painful, but at least there’s a word for it: heartbreak. I have no simple way to describe the slow, dull ache of separation from physical and emotional intimacy after years without it. To roll on the floor drunk-sobbing about being single at this point would be ludicrous. It would also be absurd, and cruel, to say to someone who just broke up with their lover, “I’ve heard all this before, and I’ll hear it again before I get a turn.” But I have wanted, in moments of exasperation or bitterness, to say it.

Love and relationships are also, among other things, a marker of time. “Forever” frequently begins in love, though it is theoretically as tenuous as the single state. Looking ahead, if I really am riding this train to the end of the tracks, I don’t see any of the grand events in my future that help ground and timeline human existence, the events being in love provides. After my best friend got married she told me she cried all the next day, overwhelmed by the outpouring of affection from everyone she knew. She deserves it all, but years later, still single, I’ve realized that there will be no similar ceremonious acknowledgment of my life or my relationships with friends and family. Until I’m dead, I guess, but that won’t be very fun for me. Anchoring my existence without the signposts of commitment, or children, is a lot of work, and sometimes I feel myself giving up on it, drifting off into a grey directionless space in danger of floating completely away.

Weddings and heartbreak are all intense moments in the journey of love, and they both make you feel alive as hell. There is something wildly cathartic about going nuts immediately after love ends, eating tubs of ice cream while watching TV, leaning on your girlfriends for emotional support, kissing the wrong person some drunken night out on the town. Then as time goes on and the kisses end, you’re just someone eating ice cream. It’s not an emotional high or low. It’s your life, and a life that confuses and depresses people. I know when I try to tell a friend that I think I will be alone forever, they are imagining bleakness. They want it to stop. They want to give advice without acknowledging the subtext of offering a solution to my “problem.”

The underlying message in those platitudes is that I need to just keep on wishing and hoping and waiting. Just wait, and wait, because something better than the life you have is guaranteed. Love is guaranteed. But it’s not, is it? Not at all, not even for someone like me, who they maybe think is cool, reasonably attractive, and not obviously insane. I wanted to cry at that dinner table, because keeping up the farce that I’m still waiting means staying still. It means diminishing the life I do lead, which is a good one." 

It's obviously not a "good life," as Aimée is miserable. The feminist worldview she still espouses and advocates for is leading her to the grave lonely and childless.

Marriage and children are indeed "anchors" of existence, giving meaning, purpose and focus outside one's own thoughts. She instinctively knows what she's missing, yet cannot find it.

Keep your daughters from the poison of feminism so they don't end up in the same state as Miss Lutkin.

Your progressive worldview will never love and cherish you, no matter how committed you may be to it. It will never hug your leg tightly and say "I love you, mommy." It won't be there to hold your hand in your old age.

The fruits of feminism are loneliness, bitterness and a lasting heartache that Merlot and cats can never fill.

27 comments:

Anchorman said...

Almost every one of her articles shows a clear feminism/go grrrrl bent.

She can try to stoke sympathy, but it's pretty obvious why no man can spend more than a night with her.

papabear said...

Feminism is cancer.

Scott Rassbach said...

You know, she can still find meaning.

A life as a dedicated religious is a fulfilling life. Nuns and monks are a time honored tradition in both Christianity and Buddhism; women scholars were traditionally honored in Islam; less honored but still historical is the pagan image of the crone or old wise woman, on the edge of town dispensing wisdom and cures.

Perhaps Miss Lutkin should explore these possibilities.

Dave said...

And when your daughters turn sixteen, start prospecting for sober, productive twenty-something single men to introduce them to. The idea that any girl, even a very smart one with a solidly anti-feminist upbringing, can be cast out alone into society and come back with a good husband is utter fantasy.

Anchorman said...

Keep in mind, when she went on her dating resolution (two dates a week for three months), she was the gatekeeper.

She picked the men from the online pool that contacted her - which was undoubtedly larger.

So, she narrowed it down to the most desirable (to her). She banged two on the first date.

So, out of roughly 16 men she pre-selected (albeit, they were of the universe of online dating men in her area), she could only find maybe one that she felt was worth a second date. And that guy walked away later ("ghosted her").

As Dalrock notes, "She needs more men."

She wants to settle down. She committed a year to the effort. It's just 94% of men don't match her standard and she didn't meet the standard of the 6% that did.

Anchorman said...

Actually, my math was generous. She very likely had more than 16 who contacted her and had the pool of men online who didn't contact her.

So, she likely dismissed closer to 3-4 times that number (conservatively), chose the lucky 16, and tied to land the 1. So, it's more like 98% she rejected in pursuit of The One...who eventually got tired of her shit and lost her number (until he needs a quick bang).

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

they both make you feel alive as hell

The first step in treating any addiction is admitting you have a problem. Spending all your life in chasing the dragon of amygdala excitation means that life is likely to be a complete mess.

VFM #7634 said...

"The fruits of feminism are loneliness, bitterness and a lasting heartache that Merlot and cats can never fill."

Not to worry, there are Muslim and African toyboys available now, if only our raciss governments would let them in. Refugees Welcome!!!

Weouro said...

It's equally imaginary marriage will fill the void. A feminist marriage is about as satisfying as merlot and cats and a lot more likely to end.

Kona Commuter said...

I made the mistake of reading the comments to the linked article. Wowsers! There's some incredible hamstering going on in there. There was one comment from what one would assume is a large set lady. She was whining that everyone was telling her to lose weight. Of course she got support from other feminists. None of that support is going to get her a man though. It'd be instructive for a single guy to read through the comments.

Anyways the advice I'd make if I were to post a comment on the linked article would be

"A man decided he wasn't going to settle for just any woman to be his wife, she had to be the perfect woman. He searched the four corners of the world, climbed the highest peaks and explored the deepest valleys. He searched the ritzy parties and charming rural towns.

Then one day, just as he was about to give up hope he found her. He found the perfect woman that would be the perfect mother in a fairy tale marriage.

There was only one problem. She was looking for the perfect man"

tz said...

Think of it as a frog-princess spell. You can do it once and retain and even enhance your beauty. But the more men you use and are used by, the more you go toad.

The even greater point of the article is its vapidity. Other than some generic big-box happiness, what does this bitch want? I don't think she knows, other than she sees the angry maw of hell ready to consume her and knows she doesn't want that. But that is a negative, not a positive.

We don't see any portrayls of Mommies raising, and even homeschooling their brood, then are happy to greet their Husband protector provider when he comes home and take care of him while the children run around shouting "daddy!".

Having a career and a boss doing performance reviews and underlings won't be satisfying even if they can extend it into a facade of family.

The irony is women have gotten what they wanted - to become cat lady spinsters after a stressful career in the rat-race.

Not quite in Japan which is worse, but I haven't root-caused it.

But Darwin will win. The Career Harpys will not pass on their genes, the Mormon Mommie Bloggers already have.

David Spence said...

Check out her pics on Google-she's basically a manatee with a sour attitude. No self-respecting man would hitch on to that nightmare.

Aeoli said...

The even greater point of the article is its vapidity.

On the contrary, I thought this selection was relatively introspective and intellectually honest.

Jed Mask said...

... Sad.

Nothing hurts worst than the sheer *REALITY CHECK* of our own personal mistakes in life to bite us in the butt.

We can only pray, warn, and direct young women when opportunity and circumstance presents itself: *GUIDE YOUNG WOMEN* in our lives to get married to suitable mates and produce strong families.

Truly in many instance I am NOT AGAINST "specially-curated" arranged marriages at this point between father-heads of a young bride and groom's families. Amen.

~ Bro. Jed

Mr.MantraMan said...

I would guess that a rather large cohort of single feminists are approaching the invisible stage, so there will be plenty of examples to point out to young white women

manuel hernandez said...

Scott Rassbach, don't forget the virgins who guarded ancient temples such as Delphi.

Robert Browning said...

You have the Jews to thank for your lot. It is the Jews who deceived you for their own selfish reasons. The Jews succeeded in tricking not to reproduce out of a deep abiding hatred of Christ, Christians and all things good and decent. God damned the Jews.

Aeoli said...

I would guess that a rather large cohort of single feminists are approaching the invisible stage, so there will be plenty of examples to point out to young white women

Collecting and curating these would be a worthwhile effort for an enterprising autiste. I might kick it off myself.

B.J. said...

Some coworker was talking about her aunt who had pretty much given up on life. They found her house in shambles, broken pipes flooding the first floor, trash everywhere, filth, garbage, rotting food, etc. The aunt is just despondent and depressed. She's in her early 60s. They moved her out into an assisted living place but she's not getting better, and it's likely she'll keep displaying this behavior.

My female coworkers couldn't understand it. "She had a good job! She went to business school! She had TWO masters degrees!" So confusing, amirite? So I asked, did she ever get married or have kids? Nope, course not. Well, there's your answer ladies. Not such a big mystery.

CJ said...

Check out her pics on Google-she's basically a manatee with a sour attitude. No self-respecting man would hitch on to that nightmare.

I did so, and while "manatee" might be a bit overstated, she's no prize. Yeah, pics tell you a lot.

BTW, in the Jezebel comments, there's an accidentally great typo. When it comes to being single, "there is still a stingma."

Game of Torrents said...

Thanks for this post.







Full Torrent Game Download - Torrent Game Download

sayingthetruthisofensive said...

Anchorman nailed it.

It's not that she can't find a man because she is a manatee with a lousy attitude. Everyday we see manatees with attitudes with thirsty betas.

It's that she is extremely picky. She banged some drunken alphas that wanted an easy lay and tasted the sweet fruit of alpha sex. Now she thinks she deserves an alpha. She doesn't even see betas as men.

She is in the phase of desperation. There are two possible resolutions. She lowers her standards and marries a beta to ruin his life. Or she becomes a pump and dump for all kinds of alpha. My money is on the first option.

Jed Mask said...

"She is in the phase of desperation. There are two possible resolutions. She lowers her standards and marries a beta to ruin his life. Or she becomes a pump and dump for all kinds of alpha. My money is on the first option."

... Still "two other options": one good, one bad.

First...

The Bad: she can't get any man of "her taste" to be with her in a long-term relationship or marriage and becomes lonely lady with cats to put it "politely" as many have voiced before.

Second...

The Good: she can have a moment of "repentance" and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ in FAITH and be saved and live her life as a celibate wise elder woman in Christ who teaches and guides the young women in her life to know Christ and obey and live according to His Word.

Personally and truly she should *KNOW JESUS* and fulfill the latter option in accordance to God's Will for her life. Amen.

~ Bro. Jed

Nora from Prague said...

This is heartbreaking to read. I feel sorry for these women because they are victims of cultural conditioning. It is literal mass psychosis and delusion. Have you heard about that Christian famous author who writes books about "waiting for the right one to marry" and she is now in her 50s, unmarried?

Sometimes I think somebody really sprays chemical all over the USA when I read shit like that from here Europe. Even tho Scandinavia and Germany rival that insanity closely.

Tatooine Sharpshooters' Club said...

She had TWO masters degrees!

That's taking credentialism into a whole new realm of magical thinking: "These Scrolls of Schooling should make her invulnerable! HOW HAS THIS WORLD GONE SO WRONG?!"

VFM #7634 said...

@Nora from Prague

I suspect that Germanic people are uniquely susceptible to this mind virus. It would explain a lot of things.

markstoval said...

"It's obviously not a "good life," as Aimée is miserable. The feminist worldview she still espouses and advocates for is leading her to the grave lonely and childless."

Someone should ask her, "how is your life choices working out for you?"

The problem with left-wingers is that reality does not affect them. They go with their mistaken ideology regardless of the outcome. Sad, but what are you going to do? Let Karma do its thing I guess.

Post a Comment

NO ANONYMOUS COMMENTS.